so yeah, the other side of me wants to be peaceful and right with the Lord, and I always feel guilty for being mean. I admit that I have done very bad things. but also, whenever I try to be decent, I always fall back into the darker half.
lately I have been bothered by thoughts of demons, more so than usual. I am VERY tempted to just challenge a demon to appear, or the devil himself to just prove to me that he exists. thankfully, I have enough sense to know that this is a bad idea. but it's just the temptation is so strong, I can't stand it, and it keeps me awake nights and days. I love Jesus, I really do, but I don't feel "free" or anything like that. I want Jesus in my life, but I feel that my bad outweighs the good. I prayed to the Lord earlier and asked for strength to combat the evil forces and influences in my life. I also did something that I read about in many testimonies about spiritual warfare, which is pleading the blood of the Christ. I had no idea how to do this, as I have never seen it in detail other than the person stating that they pleaded the blood of Jesus Christ. I will say, however, that after I was done praying, I had the courage to through away some gris gris powder and various other Vodoun paraphernalia that I had in my desk that frankly i've been afraid to touch, since my mind is still burdened with confusion about the loa (and every other spirit entity, to be honest). I feel better without that stuff around now.
Anyway, back to the point of my entry. I decided that I would look up exactly what it means to Plead the Blood of Christ. I was really surprised to see how many people disagree with doing it.
Letusreason.org says on this page:
There are some Charismatic's and Pentecostals that use the practice (now a cliché ) of pleading the blood over people that are unsaved and things they want cleansed. Just about anything gets the blood pleaded over it, this is an unbiblical practice. Although we are priests, Jesus is our high priest, we cannot apply the blood over any or every thing. The blood was applied of only to those who have faith in the atonement of Christ. It is an individual’s choice and it happens only once, we cannot put the blood over them or on them. In the Old Testament motif's, the blood was sprinkled in the holy of Holies by the high priest. But the objects were those set apart for the Lord, strict instructions were given by God himself on this matter. The high priest could not sprinkle the blood on anything his heart desired. Especially having the blood to be on unsaved or unsanctified individuals. You can't make something clean that is unclean. This was done only on the objects God set apart in the temple. It was sprinkled on the ark, the mercy seat for their forgiveness.
We see no such practice by the apostles or instructions in the epistles to do any such sprinkling or pleading of Christ's blood on anyone (even those demon possessed). In the Old Testament it was a physical act by the priest to put the blood on the altar, not moving it from one place to another. It is the same principle in the New Testament, one cannot move it on to those people or things for cleansing by speaking, (pleading it). The blood represents the life of the person, we cannot plead His life on others? Only the high priest handled the blood to go on the mercy seat for the forgiveness of sins, Jesus is the one who sprinkled His blood, not us. We can’t physically touch it today nor can we apply it somewhere else, since we are not the high priest. (The emphasis is mine.)
and on christinyou.net's page on the subject, it is written:
... "The more we plead the blood the more power we have,"22 power to conquer the world for Jesus, power to clean up the church, power against satan, as we use the blood as a weapon of spiritual warfare, which fights sinful infection like our white blood cells fight infection in our physical body. (This all sounds to me like a system whereby man thinks he can manipulate God. "Pleading the Blood" becomes a formula, a procedure, a technique, whereby man attempts to coerce God into action. All one has to do is push God's "blood-button," and God will respond like a remote-control God. He just can't help but do what we say when we "use"23 the word "blood." This is fallacious and has no basis in Scripture!)
This idea of "pleading the blood" leads then to the idea of "the power of the blood." "The more we plead the Blood, the more power we have."24 (Where are the references in the New Testament where any of the Greek words for "power" are ever used in conjunction with the blood of Jesus. I have to question, therefore, whether the blood of Jesus has any on-going inherent or intrinsic power, in and of itself.) (emphasis is mine again.)
also stated on the same page:
Such false ideas entrap innocent and gullible Christian people into false faith, into the deification of the blood of Christ, into occultic forms of magical fetishes such as "pleading the blood" or "sprinkling the blood" by repeating verbal mantras. Such concepts and procedures relegate important Biblical truth to the realm of "hocus-pocus" and constitute what Paul would call "another gospel" which is not gospel at all! (Galatians 1:8).
so I was really doing a bad thing? I was trying to manipulate God and participating in a magical fetish? I very much hate the occult.
I admit that I was doing a mistake, but I honestly thought it was doing good. there were other pages coming up in my search results that said Pleading the Blood of Christ was a positive, spiritual thing. who is right? who is being deceived!
it appears that once again, I tricked myself into thinking that I was doing something beneficial. i'm very confused. very, very confused.
I will pray that God will show me what is the right thing to do.